Where I Belong
by Mockingjay of France
Summary: Ten girls face the aptitude test. When they each find out that they are Divergent, what will they choose? How will they know where they belong?
1. Chapter 1

Abnegation

Drea—

"Did you talk to Diah?" My mom secures the last pin in my hair.

"We walked home together yesterday," I say, "but we didn't talk about the aptitude test, if that's what you mean."

Mom kisses the top of my head and squeezes my shaking hand. "You're nervous. You'll be fine. Good luck on the test, Drea."

"Thank you, Mom."

I head out the door and meet Diah to walk to the bus together. The truth is, though we didn't talk about it, I know how she feels about the test: she wants to get out of this place. She's actually pretty good at being selfless, when the situation calls for it, but I know she feels stifled here. Diah wants to go somewhere where she doesn't have to hide her beauty. Somewhere she can have some excitement. Somewhere where she can have any kind of relationship with any guy she wants. She wants to go to Dauntless.

As for me? I don't know. Sometimes I feel stifled here, but sometimes I like the calmness, the peaceful air that surrounds this place. And what's more, I don't have any idea what my results will be. My life could be forever changed by this test.

Diah—

Sitting on the bus, I try to contain my excitement. As a member of Abnegation, I can't draw any attention to myself. But I'm not sure if I can help it. I love my family, and I don't hate life here, but I can't take it anymore. I want to be free.

I look at Drea. Boy, does she look nervous. I don't blame her, even though I'm not nervous at all. I wonder what her results will be. Sometimes you can tell. Like my other neighbor, Tobias. I know he'll get Abnegation. But I'm not sure about Drea. Regardless, she might still stay here. She seems much more comfortable here than me.

I'm not sure exactly what my results will be. I want Dauntless, obviously. But am I brave enough? Otherwise, I guess I would be fine with Candor, or even Amity. Not Erudite though. I have heard awful things about them. But I really want Dauntless. All the other factions are kind of, well, lame. But Dauntless… life there could be exciting. No matter what the aptitude test tells me though, it will always be my choice.

Amity

Meg—

"Good morning, Sissy!"

Ugh. My little brother is so annoying. But I can't let it show that I think that.

"Good morning, Michael."

Sometimes, I would very much like to tell him exactly what I think. But that would be unkind, and would only cause conflict.

"Good morning, Meg," says Dad. "The test is today?"

"Yeah," I sigh.

"Are you nervous?"

"No." And that's the truth. I'm not nervous. I know where I belong. I'm Candor. I've always been Candor. And Candor is what I will choose. I mean, I really do love my family. I don't want to leave them. But I have to. After all, as they always say, faction before blood. "Dad, can you drive Leanne and me today?"

Since we are a fair distance from the rest of the city, Amity is the only faction where many of us own vehicles. My dad smiles. "Sure."

Leanne—

"Hey Meg," I say, climbing into the car.

"Hey," she chirps back, as friendly as an Amity should be, but friendlier than she usually is. She seems jittery, excited. And I know why.

We both know where we belong. We've discussed it, in secret. She wants to go to Candor, I, to Abnegation. We both respect the values of this faction, but neither of us is good enough for them. I don't talk enough; she talks too much. But if we leave… I don't want to be a traitor, I really don't. But I can't stand it. Being forced to talk, and be social and friendly all the time, it's not me. I don't hate people, but I'd rather help them out, behind the scenes, making little of myself and more of them. That is where I belong.

But Meg, she feels confined. She wants to be able to express what she is really feeling. She thinks the truth is most important, even if it hurts. But does she really belong there? Do I really belong in Abnegation? Only the tests will tell us.

Candor

Annabella—

"Mom, have you seen my shoes?!" I shout to my mom, who is cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

"Which ones?" she shouts back.

"My black and white ones!"

"All your shoes are black and white!"

"No, some of them are just black!" I look under the couch, and pull out my Converse. "Never mind, I found them!"

"You're always losing stuff, Annabella!"

"I know, I know!" I take my shoes into the kitchen and sit down at the table to put them on. My sister is sitting next to me.

"'Morning Sissy."

"'Morning Abby." We're twins, but she has Down Syndrome. For that reason, she will not take the aptitude test or attend the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow. She will stay in Candor all her life with my parents and my older brother who chose to stay here three years ago, except that he's a member now, an adult. I love my sister more than anything in the world and I don't think I could dare leave her. But I also don't think I am really Candor. I lie too easily. And the thing is, no one but me knows that, because I am a good liar. I can spin a good story without missing a beat. I hate myself for that.

But which faction am I? I think of myself too much for Abnegation. I hate people too much for Amity. I'm too wimpy for Dauntless. And Erudite, well, let's just say I've heard some nasty things about them. I snort. Maybe the test will tell me I fit best among the factionless. It certainly seems like it.

"Are you nervous, Annabella?" my mom asks, in the matter-of-fact Candor way.

"Definitely," I say, and that's no lie. "It's practically impossible not to be."

"What about Nea?" she asks.

"Well… I guess she's not nervous." I cringe. Saying it was impossible was on the verge of lying, and Mom quickly catches it.

"Annabella." She drags my name out, chiding me.

"It was just a little exaggeration, Mom." I sigh. I have a natural tendency toward sarcasm and exaggeration, but both are not tolerated well here. Candor believes that we should say exactly what we mean. This is why I don't think I belong here.

We hear a knock on our apartment door. "That's Nea," I say. "C'mon Abby, let's go."

Nea—

I love seeing Annabella and Abby hand in hand. I think Annabella is way more loving and caring than she gives herself credit for. Growing up in Candor, we weren't exactly taught affection. But it came naturally for her. Not friendliness, no, I know she's not Amity. But as much as she doesn't think so, I think she could be Abnegation.

But I, I am Amity. I've always known that. That's why I'm not nervous for the test today. (At least not as nervous as Annabella, anyway. But she turns into a nervous wreck for just about anything.) I am though, nervous about the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow. Candor, as a rule, does not like Amity. And I can see why. I constantly struggle with trying to be honest and wanting to be kind.

The city bus pulls up to the stop, and the three of us get on. I see Annabella eyeing two Abnegation girls at the back of the bus. She told me that she has always admired their lifestyle, but that she would never be able to emulate it. Now, I don't know what emulate means, but if it has something to do with being Abnegation herself, then I disagree with her.

Erudite

Elisa—

I am blind without my glasses. Many Erudite just wear them to appear smarter, but for me, glasses are a necessity. That's why I'm frantically searching around my room for them. Man, I've probably made a mess in my normally spotless room, but I can't tell for sure, because I can hardly see anything!

When I finally find them, I set them back on my nose and let my eyes refocus on my settings. Well, it's not too bad in here. Not that it matters anyway. Tomorrow, I will go to live in the Erudite headquarters with the other initiates. When I become a member, I will get my own apartment. There is no doubt in my mind about this. I love my faction. I am an Erudite at heart, and Erudite is where I will stay.

Janelle—

I can't get the test out of my mind. I have no idea what it will tell me. Saying that I'm nervous is an understatement. I can be very kind, and peaceful at times, and selfless at others. I tend to think it will be one of those, but I can also be honest, and occasionally brave. I guess my results could be Erudite, but I hope not. Intelligence is not a virtue, not a moral. If the founders of our city thought the solution to humankind was better morals, then forming Erudite was a mistake. Already I can see my home faction start to corrupt.

But I don't know what I am.

I meet up with Elisa at the bus stop. She loves our faction. How could I tell her I hate it? She's Erudite through and through, how could I tell her I'm not? I don't know. There are a lot of things I know, but there are a lot I don't. As much as the people here act like it, Erudite is not a place where you can know everything.

Dauntless

Laurella—

"Come on, Laur!" Rissa yells to me from the train car. Of course she got on first. She's way faster than me. I grab her hand and she pulls me up. I pull myself to a stand inside the car, panting.

"You have got to… stop calling me… Laur," I manage, still out of breath.

"S'not my fault your name is too long," she says. "But just think: during initiation, we can pick a new name if we want!"

I try not to sigh. She's Dauntless. She's sure of it. But I'm not. I'm not sure, and I don't want to hint to her that I might leave the faction. I might not, and that's just the thing- I don't know. But until the test, I must still be Dauntless.

Rissa—

The wind clutches my hair and pulls it outward. I love this feeling. We, the Dauntless, are so free. Some say the faction system takes away our freedom. I say it gives us freedom, freedom to be who we are. This is who I am. I am fearless. I am brave. I am Dauntless. I love it.

Sometimes I get the feeling that Laurella doesn't though. Doesn't appreciate what is clearly the best faction of the five. I don't get it. All of the others are so boring, so restricted. I could have no future in them.

I'm not nervous for the test. First of all, Dauntless don't get "nervous". But second, I know what my results will be. If I'm wrong, then I certainly don't belong in Erudite, because that would make no sense.

Here we go. All of us, about to jump off to the first of two days that will determine the direction of the rest of our lives.

Testing Rooms

Drea—

I am Divergent.

Diah—

I don't know what it means.

Meg—

My test was inconclusive.

Leanne—

I fit into two factions equally.

Annabella—

I can't tell a soul.

Nea—

It is dangerous.

Elisa—

I will still choose tomorrow.

Janelle—

But my choice is harder now.

Laurella—

Two factions.

Rissa—

I am Divergent.


	2. Chapter 2

Leanne—

I stumble nervously out of the testing room. Weirdly, the nine other girls coming out of the other test rooms seem to have the same expression as me. As if they, too, were told that they don't fit into the faction system like everyone else. As if they, too, just found out that they were dangerous.

Abnegation and Dauntless.

So I was right about Abnegation. But Dauntless? That certainly sounds more fun than Abnegation or Amity. But is "fun" really what I'm after? I have to do the hard thing; I have to think about others.

Nea—

Amity and Candor.

So I do have some Candor in me. Maybe that's why I always feel abnormally conflicted. If I had previously known about Divergence, I never would have thought a person could be Divergent for Amity and Candor. Their values are too opposite. Then is there something wrong with me? Could I ever belong in either of them?

I am more nervous than ever for the Choosing Ceremony.

Elisa—

Erudite and Dauntless.

I couldn't ever be Dauntless. I'm not sure why the test would've told me that. I am afraid of way too much. Besides, I am Erudite. I have always been, and that is who I am. Or is it? Maybe my Divergence tells me that I don't belong in Erudite as much as I thought.

And that frightens me.

Meg—

Candor and Dauntless.

Candor doesn't like Amity. Dauntless doesn't like Amity. Is it possible I have become such a polar opposite to the way I was raised? I was always supposed to be Candor. Just Candor. Should I even consider choosing Dauntless?

Should I just stay in Amity?

Janelle—

Abnegation and Amity.

Erudite's enemy and Erudite's friend. Or Erudite. The way I see it, I have three choices, where most people would have two, or even just one. But I don't really like either of my choices. Maybe I'm too picky, but I don't have a preference among either of my options. They told us the factions were formed based on what people believed was the cause of our corrupt world, and that's what I want my decision to be based on.

But what do I believe?

Annabella—

Abnegation and Erudite.

Considering that I had no clue where I belonged, I shouldn't be surprised. But wasn't the test supposed to make my decision easier? Divergence just makes it more complicated. Erudite is out, obviously. But now I have to decide between two factions that I know I'm not good enough for. Between my family and what I believe. Abnegation. How in the world was that one of my results? I am not selfless.

But apparently I am, at least a little.

Drea—

Candor and Abnegation.

That makes sense, I guess. If you push past my rare double results. But I see no reason not to stay in Abnegation. Most children born here stay here, why not me? I don't really mind life here, I can do it. But I am Divergent. I would never belong fully in Abnegation.

But in Abnegation, you don't have to belong.

Laurella—

Amity and Erudite.

Well, at least I'm not Abnegation. That faction always seemed insanely boring. But Amity and Erudite, they are peaceful. They are even at peace with each other. Amity sounds better, but then there's the small matter of Dauntless not liking Amity. Their beliefs completely clash. I've decided not to stay in Dauntless, but now I have to choose between peace for myself, and peace between Dauntless and Amity by going to Erudite.

Which do I value more?

Diah—

Dauntless and Amity.

I did get Dauntless, like I wanted. But the whole matter of being Divergent throws a new spin on things. Amity? That's nearly the lamest of the five! How could I possibly belong there? But can I belong fully in Dauntless now? I don't know. But like I said earlier, it's still my choice.

No matter what the test said.

Rissa—

Abnegation, Candor, and Amity.

Triple Divergence. It's extremely rare, apparently. But out of three factions, neither of them is Dauntless. Could that possibly be right? Is it possible the test malfunctioned? I know it's not, but I can't help but wish. I could still choose Dauntless, but if there are three factions that I fit into and Dauntless isn't one of them, then I must really be a coward. The thought stings.

What can I choose now?

Leanne—

I cautiously take the knife in my left hand. I do not need to be nervous. I already know what I'm going to do. Does anyone else know? Meg does, but my family? My other friends, because in Amity, you can never have too many? I don't know.

I prick my hand until I see a small droplet of blood. Then I walk forward and let my blood drip on Abnegation-gray stones.

I hope not choosing Dauntless is enough to show that I am selfless enough for this faction.

Nea—

I gulp. I have tried to think this out, but I haven't come to a conclusion. I can't come to a conclusion. I guess I'll just have to pick one. I'll take the Erudite approach, and choose the most logical. I cut my hand, and, outstretching it, choose Candor.

And, no, I should not have been Erudite.

Elisa—

I am Erudite. I push aside any second thoughts and grab the knife. This is it. This is where I belong, where I always have belonged. The water is only light pink. Only two people have chosen Erudite so far, two boys. At least I will have Janelle. My blood turns the water darker.

Smart choice.

Meg—

Candor. I always knew that's where I belong. It's where I've always wanted to go. Leanne went where she wanted to go; I should too. I drag the blade across my left hand and wish I would have tried harder to keep from crying out in pain. Clenching my fist to keep the blood from spewing out, I march toward the Candor bowl, then stop short of it, turn, and watch my blood sizzle on Dauntless coals instead.

Because that must have taken at least a little bravery.

Janelle—

What am I going to choose? Elisa choose Erudite, can't I? No. I despise my home. What am I going to choose? I take the knife in my hand and make a small cut. There's the Amity bowl filled with soil. The Abnegation bowl filled with gray stones. And the Erudite bowl filled with water. What am I going to choose? Amity. Abnegation. Erudite. I have no other choice.

But I do. I have always had a choice. I turn to the Candor bowl and let my blood drip on glass.

Honestly, this is what I believe in.

Annabella—

I turn the knife over and over in my sweaty hands. I am so nervous. Candor or Abnegation. I could do Abnegation. I could try to live the life that I have always admired. I might be able to do it. Or I could stay in Candor, with my sister. I could try to live the life that I have always been taught to live. Both would be hard. But both I could do.

My shaking hand clutches the knife handle. Gritting my teeth, I drag the blade across the palm of my left hand. Oh, it stings. I step forward to where the two bowls are between me. Breathe. Don't trip. Get this over with. Just choose one. Abnegation. Candor.

But instead I walk confidently past both of them, hold out my hand, and listen to the tiny splash of blood against pink Erudite water.

And it turns out that I'm a good liar even to myself, because of course this is what I was going to do all along.

Drea—

I take the knife and carefully cut my palm. I walk to the Abnegation bowl, then stop short of it. Why am I hesitating? This is where I am going obviously. This is the only thing that makes sense. I look around. A surprising number of children have already chosen Abnegation. There are even some transfers, which seems rare. All my life I have done the thing that makes sense. So I watch my blood fall against the glass of Candor.

And now that I'm not part of it, I realize how much I hated Abnegation life.

Laurella—

I wince as the tip of the blade cuts my hand. Peace or intelligence. But suddenly I wonder why it was harder to decide. I know which is more important. I know what I have to choose. So quickly I hold out my hand and watch my blood soak into Amity soil.

This is gonna be a little different from Dauntless.

Diah—

Finally. Finally I get to leave this lame faction and go where I belong. I grab the knife and cut a large gash in my hand. Ooh. I may need to bandage that later. I didn't realize it would bleed that much. I hurry to the Dauntless bowl. But as much as I try not to give the others any second thoughts, the Amity bowl catches my eye. Shouldn't I have at least considered it? I shake the thought out of my head and listen to my blood splatter and then sizzle against the hot coals.

I am no coward.

Rissa—

The anger boils inside me as I grab the knife. Who are they to tell me I can't be brave? Who are they to tell me what I can or can't do with my life? I want so badly to prove them wrong. I'm so angry that I can barely feel the knife as it cuts my hand. I scan the bowls. They told me I could pick Abnegation, Candor, or Amity. But since I grew up in Dauntless, it would still be acceptable to choose it as well. So I march over to the Erudite bowl and thrust my hand out.

I am not selfish. I am not a liar. I am not hostile. But I am not a coward, and I am definitely not stupid.


End file.
